Inside a Teenager's Head-Episode 2

FRIENDSHIPS AND SCHOOLING-Episode 2

FRIENDSHIPS!!! what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you say the word friendship? Friendship is all about mutual understanding, affection and love.

"But in my case, it has always been a mystery".

I was in class 6 when I have realized that friendships were always conditional. I did think that I have a lot of friends but no one took me in their friendship category. It's like you should have a certain qualification to be a group. And this is the third reason my schooling was not so great. All the friends that I had, I believed that (yes, they are my friends, they love me and they will be there if I needed any help) but indeed there was no one and they did always backstab me. I was always there for anyone; I was always ready to help anyone who was in need. But when the time came for someone to help me, no one was there. I knew from a very small age that the world outside the classrooms and blackboards was completely different. Let me tell you some interesting parts from where it all started out to be worst. I was in class 8 when I slit my wrist 3 times in class when teacher was giving a lecture and I almost got suspended. During those days, it was really hard to face everyone, going to classes, facing my parents.

But taking courage up I did go to school, and when I entered the class and seeing all those faces, the looks on their eyes and their faces as if I am a murderer. No one sat with me for the whole year. The row that I used to sit on; it was empty. I cried and cried but I didn’t show anyone, I was screaming inside. The thoughts were killing me that time, the classmates started to call me Crazy bitch, whispering things about me. I was having suicidal thoughts, to just finish off myself from the second floor of the school building to jump from there. But I couldn’t. No one asked me what happened why did you do that, No one knows the real reason behind that except for me. Even my best friend didn’t talk with me nor sat with me. They all were making me feel that I was some kind of virus that if someone comes near me, they will die or something like that. I have always felt insecure and unprotected. Even the teachers didn’t let my classmates talk with me nor sit with me. And the teacher’s themselves told all of them to shift from the third row to second row and first row, I was so helpless. After class 8, Class 9 too had gone bad, I think you all are familiar with the SLAM BOOK culture, so, this girl who brought a slam book in the class and we all wrote in it, somehow our class teacher came to know about this situation, so all the girls who had written on the book were scolded including me, but guess what, the teacher sent only me to the principal’s office, carrying those books and threatened to call my parents but no one listened to my part, later I came to know that someone told that I had told everyone to write about their private life in the slam book. I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. There were certain rumors about me in school. It’s like I was the hot topic to talk about and guess what who spread the rumors, my dearest and closest friend. I wouldn’t mention any name here. This is the reason why I do not have any friends because they always take advantage of you, your weakness, and your little secrets.

Schooling had always been hard for me. I was not always an excellent student; I was not good with the academics. But I always had this creative side of me. But schooling was all about your grades and on the basis of your marks you are judged. I used to very happy when the co-curricular activities period would start and I was really great at that. But what’s the point when the teacher doesn’t look to your creative side but only to grades, but even then, they only lookout for the excellent students. I was ashamed of myself, going to school when the teacher only praised the good students, but what about the other students who are poor on the grades, the teachers used to scold them instead of making them understand with love. GURU, this is what we call them, right. I am sorry if I have ever offended anyone, I am writing my own experience. So, the lesser grade students get no space anywhere, except for classes, I mean no extra activities, say, singing, dancing, sports, etc. That too is only reserved for the excellent ones, because they are excellent in grades. And we the low grades students, with a heavy heart come back to our home and tell our parents that they wouldn’t take us because the space was full and no one can come, but the real reason is something else.

Until next time.

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