Lately I just realized that I am getting older as my 20’s are almost over and I am about to be 30 in a less than a couple of months, and with that now shall come the tension of responsibilities, hopefully marriage and fatherhood, whoa! Lagta hai kuch jyada hee dur ka soch liya (Guess I am thinking way too far). Rules of nature holms, you take birth, do lot of shits, grow older and die! Huh, sounds boring doesn’t it?
Anyways, like I was saying, when I was a kid all I thought when would I grow up and enjoy all thing that adult enjoys and as I grew up I just found out how overrated and dull growing up looks like if you can’t enjoy the things you enjoyed as a kid, because well, society has a notion that a grown up boy can’t play with toys and action figures, read comics, play video games, watch cartoons and re live his childhood nostalgia and his life is meant to be confined within paper works, clients, office, laptop, tablets, cars, own house, servant, wife and kids. And slowly and rapidly he starts to lose interest in all those things that he might have enjoyed even in his high school or college years. Such thing is what I am going through right now as slowly I am losing interests in lots of things.
No matter how much I party and get drunk, I can never find the happiness of those glory days with these grown up people whose bickering and banter over politics and shits goes bouncer over my head.
Perhaps I have lost old interest but I found some new ones but then again I miss the old
times like hell. I still have the memories of my first neighborhood engraved in my mind and I dream about it. I dream about my old homies and those games in the playground. I miss the school competitions and lots of things and I wish I could turn back time again.
But I can’t complaint, growing up is a part of human evolution and we cannot evade it, there is no f**** magic pill to stay forever young accept maybe those f**** cosmetic surgeries and botox job that I don’t want to waste my money on.
But hey, I might have grown up within all these years and in ten years span I might have learnt and experienced and lot of things. I was broken and taking a dirt nap but now I am taking a hold of my life and getting health conscious, stopped drinking and smoking and partying like it was never a night, maybe this is the reason why I want a rewind button and go back to the way the days were and undo the mistakes I made. I am still a kid on the inside and for me age is just a number and this is why I still love to do lot of gaming, watch a damn kid’s cartoon with my cousin, collect toys and stuffs and gets laughed at for it. But I ain’t ashamed neither I am afraid that I am getting older, because 30 is the new 20 and I shall own it. Because I don’t know what future holds for me, maybe 10 years later I will be 40 and with it might come yet more responsibilities and good/bad experiences but I will just embrace it. So, I guess it’s pointless to think about it way too much and better to try to re live those memories that made our childhood. I know we can’t go back in time, but we shall not get weaker thinking that we are getting old. Thing is that we must learn to be forever young and be a little like kids from the heart.
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