Nah Nah, I ain’t no F***** demon worshiper neither I roll with Satan. Let me finish first. So, like I said in
the previous chapters that my life was turned upside down and how I tried to rebuild my fractured image, but that’s all in the past, so, what about my current state? Yeah, this is the f***** question that ain’t nobody puts no effort to ask me, But I’ll tell ya’.
You know? After all that literal bullshit, I kind of started praying to God, “help me get cleaned, help me see the light…..” yeah, you get the Memo. However, I guess only praying was not enough and I had to put some effort, and so I gave up dope, alcohol, cigarettes and everything and was heading towards sobriety. But, life was like, “hold on son, what’s the rush?” and I was dragged into the same pit once again after four years, reason number one; fired from the job, reason number two; nasty hangover from one night of beer with friend after a long time that got converted to whiskey addiction when I tried it for the first time. If not worse got into taking dope once again.
Perks? Hearing voices, hallucination, overthinking, nightmares and whole lot of crazy things. One night
hell broke loose when I had an argument over ten pegs of rum and whiskey and next day another argument over phone that ended up with death threats against me by the guy.
After that rumors started to circulate that I was a crack-pot and everyone is just sick of me. Yes, constantly being put down and criticized. But nah, I was too busy to give a f****. But my anxiety was beginning to get overwhelming, I mean to say if your life is dependent on anti-depressants and if you are awake till 4 in the morning in most cases then maybe insanity is leeching inside your f**** mind or maybe you are becoming possessed, haunted or cursed.
Yes, I chose to get into the path of light, but darkness have found me once again. My heart is no more pure, it’s blackened like the cursed sun. I am haunted, I am possessed. But, this darkness can’t control me, I use it as a tool to tell my unholy tale. I will not give in, I will not surrender, I will Rise, rise from the ashes!
PS:-NOW I AM CLEAN ONCE AGAIN!
One rule of straight edge custom is that, whatever you do, stay off the dope, drugs and alcohol. I follow this code now.
This is not easy. Pulling something off like this, and that too with such extremities, One can only wonder. Remember, never regret the decisions you took, it is who you are today, and We Love You!